Q: How do I deal with irritation?
A: What do you not like about your irritation?
Q: When I get irritated, I feel annoyed and frustrated. What can I do about it?
A: Why don’t you want to feel annoyed or frustrated?
Q: Because it is wrong.
A: Then, you may be unable to deal with your irritation. Because right or wrong does not carry the necessary power and motivation for an individual.
Q: How so?
A: Consider the following examples:
- It is proven that smoking is harmful to health. Still, people do it;
- It is known that having relationships with multiple partners simultaneously harms human life. Again, it is seen very frequently;
- Too much alcohol does no good to human health over the long run, yet, it is consumed a lot;
- It does not require a Ph.D. to know that keeping yourself dirty sure brings diseases of different kinds. Still, nations must run programs such as “Swachh Bharat” on cleanliness…
Q: I understand your examples, but I don’t know what to do next.
A: I see.
Q: Don’t you see irritation as wrong behavior?
A: I don’t see things in terms of right and wrong because right and wrong are social and religious constructs with no real ground in reality.
Q: I am amazed to see your disregard for society and religion.
A: I have no disregard or regard for society and religions. I try to see the truth of things.
Q: Still, you live in society. How do you make your life work?
A: Yes, I do live in society. And I am aware of the function of cultures and religions. Rather than looking at them from the perspective of right and wrong, I look at them from the cause-and-effect perspective. Every happening in society is either a cause or an effect. If I need to have a particular outcome, I must understand what can cause it and take action.
Q: I am trying to understand it, for it sounds complicated, or at least it is very different.
A: I appreciate your truthfulness.
Q: What about irritation?
A: For how long have you considered irritation as wrong?
Q: From as long as I can remember. Almost my whole life.
A: And still, you get irritated?
Q: Unfortunately, yes.
A: Does this clarify that right and wrong are insufficient concepts to make life work?
Q: I started to understand this point, but I don’t like getting irritated.
A: When do you not like getting irritated?
Q: I didn’t get your question.
A: When do you not like getting irritated? Before, during, or after the irritation?
Q: After the irritation.
A: Now revisit your statement: you mentioned that you do not like getting irritated. Still, the truth is you do not like the state after you have got irritated.
Q: How is it important? Are you playing with the words?
A: I have no interest in playing with the words. Know that you would not be able to solve something you don’t have a problem with.
Q: So, I have a problem with the state which I get after I have felt irritated.
A: Then, you do not have a problem with irritation.
Q: How can I not have a state after I have felt irritated?
A: There isn’t something you can do about it because it is an effect, not the cause.
Q: Why do I get irritated in the first place?
A: Because you wanted to.
Q: Huh! I really do not like to get frustrated.
A: Then, you would not get frustrated.
Q: How can I be the cause of an unwanted feeling like irritation?
A: You are the cause if you wish so. You are not if you choose to.
Q: So, are you saying that I like being irritated?
A: Yes, and no.
Q: Can you enlighten me more?
A: A part of you feels happy when you get irritated. When you do, you can exercise your right to get irritated. You enjoy this, right? You think you have been wronged, and thus your irritation is justified. You do not wish to pass up on exercising this right. But, another part of you feels guilty for having been irritated. And this guilt is, to some degree, two-faced. The guilt makes you feel better and morally correct. For if you had felt good about getting irritated, you would have had a difficult time accepting yourself.
Q: And unless I genuinely wish to no longer get irritated, nothing will help.
A: Yes, this is the truth.
Q: If I sincerely did wish never to get irritated, what would I need to understand?
A: That irritation is not the solution you think it to be. It is a weapon you enjoy using to protect your ego and support it.