Money Lending: What to avoid?

When we face any challenge, many of us look for help from our close circle.

If any person in our close circle is well-to-do, then we often start expecting that he’ll help in solving our life problems.

In most cases though, this causes troubles for everyone in our circle.

This is the real-life story of X. X was a good-hearted 25-year-old.

X got married and started his life. Because he took the entrepreneurship path, his life had its own struggles and as one can imagine, it included money-issues as well.

One fine morning, X got a call from a close family member: he needed ₹ 50k for 3-4 days. X’s total saving at that time was no more than ₹ 15k.

X wanted to help and had no idea how the world works so he borrowed the money from another close family member and lent it.

Though the ₹50k amount was not easy for the other family member, X managed to get it based on his little credibility.

X had no idea how the world works so X chose to loan the money to someone despite the fact that he was not the owner of that money!

After 15 days, X was asked to return the money.

The money did not come back.

So X politely requested the borrower to return. The borrower promised to return it back within 2-3 days.

Some more weeks passed.

The money did not come back.

X got to know one more thing – the borrower also borrowed ₹30k from X’s best friend without X’s knowledge.

X was an amateur and so were his decisions. He was yet to learn how the world works.

X chose to repay his best friend on behalf of the borrower out of his personal savings.

This was the time where monthly salaries were no more than ₹ 5-6k so the borrowed amount was a big chunk of money. X’s income was around ₹ 6k a month.

After many months 50% of the money came back. It was also apparent that the borrower had all good intentions but his situation was not in his control.

The borrower’s history was excellent: he never defaulted in any human aspects of relationships. He had been a good, loving human being.  But the truth was – neither the borrower, not X understood how the world works.

X passed through a lot of stress. He never had borrowed any money from anyone for any of his personal or business needs but in order to help the apparently needy borrower, he borrowed the money despite his counter-beliefs.

However, based on this episode, X learned what he had to: Never “lend” any money to anyone. If you feel you must help, then consider it as that day’s expense and do not expect it to return.

Of course, if the money comes back, great. If it does not come back, okay. This is an effective way to remain “calm” and not “unhappy.”

Unlike X, 99% of people do not conclude such things from such experiences. they become bitter.

When people become bitter, they and their close family members suffer.

Understanding how the world works is super-crucial if one wants to live a regretless life.

The world works based on certain principles, which are in accordance with nature. If a Cloud does not have water embedded in it, it won’t rain or if the seed does not have substance, it would not grow. You got the idea.

Not surprisingly, the world will make people understand how it works and not in a nice way. The world does not have any bias, it has its own function which cares nothing about our likes or dislikes.

Eventually, X became a successful entrepreneur … experiences like these have shaped his thinking, his awareness, and how he sees the world.

Note to Self:

  1. People don’t want to take total responsibility for their own lives, so they choose an easy path and expect others to solve their problems. Beware of them and their impact on our lives.
  2. Lend money only when you can consider it as an expense without any expectations of return.
  3. If you don’t have the money to lend, do not borrow it to lend it to others. It is a surefire recipe to invite a disaster in life.
  4. We are the designer of our own life experiences, we have all the power to cause situations to serve us…or not. Up to us!

Reflections 2019

The year 2019 is about to end and like every year, I am off to a distant land where I enjoy spending my time the most – Europe.

Utpal Vaishnav (Europe Trip)

Although I visited 6 countries in 2019 thus far (2 for the first time), I have not posted about my travel experiences on any public forum, unlike previous years.

I did not make public posts to observe how it impacts me psychologically (the amount of ‘craving’ to share what I observe/experience/learn) … and how it impacts my first and second circle of friends, colleagues, and acquaintances who regularly read, reflect, sometimes disagree and celebrate my travel experiences virtually.

Today, I am beginning my trip to Europe starting from Switzerland. It is one country I visit a few times every year. It offers the best of the Nature that I have experienced thus far and I have not felt ‘enough’ about spending time with Switzerland.

So, for the next 3 weeks, we will be in Europe again, sipping mulled wine 🍷 and reflecting on the moments of life I could generate in a (mostly) living dead 💀 world.

I have no goals for this trip. I only have a hope that I will be reflecting on my past year and be aware of what mattered to me in 2019 and what ‘theme’ I want my 2020 to have.

Observe. Create.

Then again observe. Then again create.

The observation is for being aware.

The creation is for engrossment.

~UV (20191223 15:15)

A life well engrossed is a life well lived, isn’t it so?

The year 2019 was full of diverse experiences: Intense personal experiences. Intense professional experiences. Growth in business. Growth in personal awareness. And more.

The year 2019 also included a feeling of sadness and low spirits for about a couple of weeks near the mid-year … and again recreation of my present self that leverages peace and power to its wish.

I’d like to call the year 2019 as a year of Discipline for me. Since almost the beginning of me on this earth in my present form, Discipline and I never had a romantic relationship … but my affair with Discipline started from late 2018 and now we are going steady and rock solid and I have no plan to break up with it! 😎

I began 2019 with what I call ‘the 3D challenge’: Daring, Determination, and Discipline!

👉 Daring: I did not have any issues in this area; 😇
👉 Determination: I was doing good in this area too;
👉 Discipline: I was not very good in this area. My excuse? I am more creative than many so I thought I can trade off discipline for that. Turns out it was very limiting + self-disserving thought.

  • I started this year by waking up at 5:30 am;
  • I remained consistent and now I wake up by 5 am;
  • That follows a 3km morning walk followed by 45 mins of Gym-time;
  • with military discipline;
  • and deliberate intention;
  • listening to a few insightful podcasts (Masters of Scale, The Tim Ferris Show and more).

This behavioral change instilled a sense of better meaning in my life. I recommend this habit change to anyone who wants to take charge of their life and put a dent in the universe … or not!

As the journey continued, I landed upon a MindValley Masterclass from Steven Kotler and started practicing being in the FLOW state.

Being in a FLOW state is one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It gave me the necessary kick while enjoying the present moment. I became clearer, more straight and deliberate about the things and people who matter to me or I matter to them.

When I was just getting started with being in the FLOW state, The Slight Edge from Jeff Olson made a  notable impact on me. The compounding principle that I thought I knew but I really didn’t became so clear that I started seeing the compounding effect in almost anything that I pour my attention into. And it gives a great awareness + deliberation about our next actions.

While in 2019, I did not post much about my travel experiences on Facebook, I did continue experimenting with my travels and exploration in general.

While there were 3-4 domestic short trips also this year, I visited 6 different countries. Mostly these countries are repeated countries except Canada and Kuwait which I visited for the first time this year.

April 2019: Dubai 🇦🇪, Kuwait 🇰🇼
July 2019: Switzerland 🇨🇭, France 🇫🇷
August 2019: Canada 🇨🇦, USA 🇺🇸

There are a lot of observations and learnings and I have made several conscious notes from all these travel experiences.

The last few days of 2019 is the time to reflect on those notes and be more conscious about the theme for 2020. So I thought why don’t we spend some time at the place where I feel I belong the most and spend a few weeks there.

Stay tuned to my Facebook if you like to see/read my travelogue.

PS: This time, I might compile all my travel experiences in form of an ebook, and share it freely so you can use it to experience travel (and life) in a semi-planned way though I am not sure about it. Let's see!